Dear Ltr, I think that if we could all understand the universal problem of why we make such poor choices for ourselves and then in the light of that make "good" choices, most people would be much happier...too simple right? We can spend hours and hours,and thousands of dollars for people to try to persuade us to make different choices which make much better sense for us, but we don't. and now, the sixtyfourthousand dollar question...WHY? I believe that it's fear, the fear of not having the crutch we've used for so long that enabled us to "get paid" on some level, (remember bad attention/pity is better than no attention) and before you become the person that you want to be you're going to have to get face to face with where "fear" has taken you, accept your responsibility in the choices you have made, feel like crap about it,(briefly) and then "turn" from it! you might say "I've tried that,it works for a while but then I grow weak" there's a source of power and strength you need to lean on a lot more, where your deepest needs can be met, that will compell you by showing you who you really are and thats when you'll walk strong! so, I ask you "wilt thou be made whole"? then stand up and walk...