dueNorth, you are not a failure!! You aren't. If your son is old enough to stay home and do laundry, he's old enough to know that he can manipulate you into feeling responsible for his actions. If he was in the house, there is no reason he couldn't have smelled or seen the smoke--it sounds like just not caring and/or respecting. If he's old enough and he has a job, then he needs to help pay to repair the washer. I'm so sorry he's putting you through that. Kids sure know the buttons to push!!