After the intensity of the last two sessions, I've decided to take a break. My subconscious must be in agreement with me, because the trauma stuff isn't leaking into my thoughts right now. In fact, I feel kind of calm and okay. Which is an awesome change, and a huge relief.

I left a message with T and told him I'd be bringing my crayons and my mandala coloring book and sitting on the floor tomorrow. I told him I REALLY want to wear my pajamas! I just feel like I want to go and feel comfortable and nurtured. I did reassure him that I would actually show up in my daytime clothes though....

Normally, I think I would be worrying that I'm "running away" from the trauma stuff, or trying to stuff it or avoid it. But right now, I'm just feeling like I've worked REALLY hard on it, and I deserve a break. Just the fact that I can have that thought must mean that I'm actually making progress....which boggles my mind. It comes so slowly, sometimes it seems like nothing is happening. Wow.

I really, really, really need a nurturing, non-traumatic session tomorrow. I hope it works out that way.