((((((((((earthmama))))))))))) You deserve a break.
I color often when in session with my new therapist. She lets me use colored pencils she has (or sometimes I bring mine in) and she printed off some mandalas for me to color. I'm so much more relaxed in session when I'm coloring. I can just imagine you in your pj's, sitting on the floor coloring.  Please let me know how it goes. I'm already happy for you. 
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"What is Real? asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day.
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
-The Velveteen Rabbit by Marjorie Williams
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