Bethy, what you suggest is good for sudden panic attacks for me. When I get triggered, I'm into it before I realize it. My over reaction is what startles me but up to now, I haven't been able to stop myself. The over reaction can take days or even weeks to show itself. That's what I hate the most. The repressing of the feelings, then the feelings simmering on the back burner and suddenly, anything that resembles something out of the past marriage and the hypervigilance starts and it's like I expect something to happen!

I've been doing some research for the last week and I've set my mind at ease about some things, especially that I did NOT cause my daughter to develop BPD. It's uncanny how this xxxxx knows right where to land her blows. That particular piece of information won't trigger me any more.

My talk with John sunk in and he now realizes that he can't just let this woman talk. As long as he doesn't shut her up, she'll continue to spew her poison on him. David flat won't listen to her, to his sperm donor or to his sister when they want to talk about me.

I'll be posting the work I'm going through to disarm this and other triggers. I've realized that as long as I react, I'm still being controlled and victimized. Nu Uh! Not me! No more!

You know I'll get in touch with you if I need to talk things out. You can count on that, Sweety!

:Heart: