Thanks all for the words of under standing. I have had this growing feeling and the inability to deal with even the simplest things as of late. A lot of times it is making me feel sick to my stomach, because though I try things seem to be getting worse and worse. On of the 'harder you fight the quick sand, the faster you sink' things, guess the best way I can explain or describe the feeling.

I just want to dig a hole, crawl in and pull the dirt over me, so I can hide for at least a little while. No not talking about killing myself or any thing like that. Though having said that too, I don't think it would bother me to much, not that I don't want some thing like that to happen. I'm going in circles again chasing my tail if I had one.

Last night was the first night, that the possibility or the possibility of the need to be in a hospital started to sound like perhaps the only solution. That in it's self out right terrifies me to the core, that it makes me fight all that much more, only to feel myself sinking further and faster.

But I have my pets to think about, and what little I have left in belongings not to mention my home. If I am not here, then they will consider it abandoned and I will lose everything (the home is already in foreclosure proceedings), electricity due to be shut off by the 15, haven't had gas for hot water for 2 months or more, yada yada .

Sorry rambling, didn't meant to but perhaps need to.