My goodness CJR that is a lot to have happen! And I have a feeling that is the tip of the iceberg.
I am glad you are now examining these things that have troubled you.
This was courageous for you to post. I'm in awe you raised a preemie after such difficult care yourself. You have lived quite the life I would bet and I am sure you have a lot to take pride in.
Thank you for sharing this here.