Tomi,

Thanks for all that you are doing with this forum - the information and links and encouragement. You are just doing so much here to teach us and help us learn about self-esteem.

I read even the material here and find some way to use it against myself. It's all my own doing, no way around it. I keep listing out my faults and defects and shortcomings (just in my head - it never stops), and I discount anything that might be positive. There's always some reason why it's not good enough, or it's not the real me - just the false front that I have to project in order to be of some use to other people. I have to do that at work too. I have to be somebody functional at work. I can't be me. A few years ago when I was in vocational rehabilitation, they tried to help me set up a business at home with my animals and fiber arts and stuff, because, they said, I wasn't able to deal with people, so I needed to work by myself. So I guess it must not be me now who's working with people. That's not something I can do, so it must be someone else. Yeah, and I know you're just going to say that it is me. I've argued that side of it with others in the past, haven't I? It doesn't add up. Cognitive distortion, huh? Well, I never told anybody that I was sane, did I?

Thanks for your reply. It is making a difference, even if it's hard for me to admit to things like having any value or being loved or respected. You still nudged me a little bit in the right direction.

((((love and hugs))))