EM,
What I think is really good is that you are able to: a) admit that you were hurt by his actions, b) are able to feel your hurt and not judge yourself too harshly (initially assuming that you might be overreacting isn't too bad-considering what I do to myself), and c) directly communicating to him that he upset you. If I could do this, I would be patting myself on back and saying, "at least this is some progress!" Got to look for that silver-lining right :-)

Although this is a very difficult rupture for you to deal with at this time, you have done a GREAT job expressing yourself and setting up an opportunity for possibly healing this rupture on Friday, IMO. I also think the fact that you were aware enough to recognize that your feelings and reactions to this rupture were starting to have collateral damage and you took action to immediately address this is SO GREAT.

I often look back on certain situations and realize too late that I got caught up in my own stuff and unintentionally drag my kids into it. Being aware while it is happening or even immediately following the exchange is just one or two steps away from being able to avoid these situations in the future.

Again, I really wish you didn't have to deal with all this, but I think you are hanging in there. (((EM))) I hope as you reflect on it more and process it, that you and your T will be able to work through it.