Quote:
All the time I hear from my mom and sister, "you've just got to snap out of it." So much so, I avoid THEM now.
No person without these feelings can understand, since we all live in our own shells of reality. I ve stopped trying to explain it to the yawning faces of the listeners, ( why do their watches get so interesting?).
Yeah, we're out here. No one can see us though, cause we're hiding.......
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My exhusband tries to get me out of it once in a while. He'll say "take a ride to the store with me.. you can wait in the car if you want". I just kinda jerk my head back like I'm saying "AS IF". I go out. I do. I just don't want to and I'm not working yet.. and I HAVE to and I don't even know where to start. I just screwed my life up soooooooo bad and I have to come out of THIS FUNK!
"Snapping" out of it isn't an option... I'm glad you brought that up. What... do people think I WANT to be like this?
I dragged my sorry butt to the gym this morning and worked out hard for 2.5 hours. I did an hour and a half of cardio... and an hour of hard weights. My trainer puts 30's in my hands for an incline chest press with free weights and I get up, put them on the rack and grab 50's.. like I'm punishing myself. I'm too old to do this and it hurts.. maybe I like pain? Maybe when my body hurts a lot my mind doesn't hurt as much?
(ooh. .. very interesting).