Hi everyone!

I am new here and although I have other issues (yipee) one of them is me being paranoid about being cheated on. I have ruined relationships by being so paranoid (although looking back that was all a godsend) but needless to say now i am in relationship with someone i am very happy with and in love with. Its been a blissful 8 months, although the whole time i have been scared. Its getting worse now and i belive that is becasue I am feeling depressed with my life which leads to more paranoia. I am scared he will cheat on me, meet someone else, etc. He knows how i feel but i am getting more outspoken with it, for example pointing out prettier girls, freaking out about who he is talking to online, his cell phone, etc. He always tries to calm me but i dont know.

He says he wont cheat but come on they all say that. Now, he is always online at work, he works 12 hour days and it online on yahoo and aol. we met online so tht scares me. im always like who is he talking too, etc. i dont always ask it but i always think it and get all upset. Then the cell phone. In the begining of our relationship i would always get upset or accuse when someone called, etc. now he turns it upside down or keeps it in the other room. he says so i wont get upset because i never believe him anyway.

so things like this is what im dealing with. i am honestly surprised he is still with me but he is and i dont want to ruin it. i just dont know how to trust. or love fully. any help or advice out there is GREATLY appreciated. even if someone wants to message and chat sometimes that would be great. i am loney