Sometimes I feel like im the only one out there who cant work .I cant get my head togetter long enough. Things I use to be able to do like read ,spell ,math or simple find may way home are very hard to do at sometimes I worked full since ive been 15 and at 35 was making a great living in sales the the bottom fall out and what use to be my strenth my bipolar which aloud me to work 7 days aweek and come home and take care of my kids well my wife work became evil and for the past 7 years life has been a nightmare! Where once I use to wont to live forever now the thought of death brings me peace .What a change! Im on SSD and dont know if ill ever get off I still havent put togetter one good month .I use to love work it was fun and exciting now the thought of just going outside someday scares the **** me ,I cant even drive anymore on bad days i forget to stop at stop signs and red lights or manic days I drive like im in a race it got so bad I had to stop.

I wont to go back to work but im not the same person or to say it better i dont have the same skills I use to .So now im a stay at home dad which i love but there are somedays I dont feel well and it takes everything I have just to get though the day .I feel so bad that im cheating my kids .
Its amazing what I use to take for granted get up going to work comming home the feeling of having a good day look forward to my son baseball a week end party or holiday dinner now all things I rarely do.