So yeah, title says it all: I've been questioning myself as to why I'm seeking professional assistance with my problems to the point where I doubt I'm distressed at all. I'm only following through my sessions because I feel an obligation to, even if I know I'm not the definition of "normal", psychologically speaking.

I hate having moments where I doubt I need help at all... It makes actually finding help harder and makes it take more time than it was intended to by not completely telling the professionals what I want AND have to tell them (mouthful)... Then when I'm back again in a state of despair (hate, hopelessness, brain fog, whatever), I find it hard to find the motivation to get up and seek help... I actually forced myself (and it took me a long while) to look for a T, even though all I had to do was go to a nearby building (less than 5 mins away) and ask for a therapy session. Once I had one, I felt safe and relaxed, but now I don't even know why I'm going. I don't know why, it just happened... And all these thoughts keep rushing through my head, trying to convince me to just forget about all of this and move on, and deal with whatever is causing me all this distress.

Thoughts that keep racing through my head include "I don't have any problems, I've just matured faster than everyone else my age and beyond", "Why am I looking for professional help, if my problems aren't disabling? If it's just debilitating, then it's probably something I can fix by myself", "If I've survived so far, what's preventing me from surviving 70-80 more years? (I'm optimistic in how long I'll live)", "There's no such things as mental illnesses, just the same lack of control over how we feel, but in different areas. I bet I can overcome this by myself", and "The only way this help-seeking journey will benefit me is by having acceptable excuses for my consecutive abnormalities". I've had other thoughts, but I can't remember them... (underlined the most prevalent ones).

Have you guys ever had these problems while going to a session of any sort? If so, what did you do to avoid these obstacles? And can you help me liberate some of my worry by sharing with me the time it took you to be diagnosed with your first mental illness?

Thanks if you read, share, and reply.