Sweetie, when a child feels so desolate and alone, bad attention is better than no attention.

It was not bad of you, it was desperate. Sometimes I guilt myself because it is less painful than realizing the depths of my misery and need.

Being human and needing a cuddle is life. One really weird and confusing part of the abuse is that there may be a streak of "good" in it. We may get a bit of what we really need and because it comes from the bad guy we get confused and blame ourselves if we actually felt relief or pleasure or like the bad guy rescued us some times.

Please don't punish yourself for being a young girl with need for support.

THE BLAME IS STILL ON THE ABUSER AND YOUR PARENTS FAILED YOU AND THAT NUDGED YOU TOWARD THE BAD GUY WHO WAS THE ONLY ONE TO HOLD YOU.

I'm sad that this happened to you. I'm also sad it happened to me. The hardest thing for me to admit was that I responded to some of the sexual things I experienced. I don't know why it was so shameful to be human and have a body that responded humanly - but it was. I'm 55 and I am just now REFUSING TO BLAME MYSELF ANY MORE FOR BEING A PEOPLE.

Hugs and comfort Jinny and I wish it were more - I wish I could send healing your way.

Leslie the Human Being