Thankyou all for replying to this .... yet again i thought maybe i would be judged .....

Pixie, thankyou.... i too felt the same as you sometimes and still carry the shame that goes with it .... he was very manipulative, controlling and because he was around so much and did lavish attention on me, albeit the wrong sort, like you say it was something ...... you are so brave to have posted the above, you have touched me, and you have enabled me to say the words to myself and here .... i'll never forget that .... you are very special to me, thankyou ..... Jinny xoxoxoxoxoxoxo