I'm new here, so I haven't read all of your posts. But I would say, if something affects you, it will affect your marriage too. If you can figure out a way to keep doing the marriage counseling, I think it can help both of you to find ways to cope with your mental illness in healthy ways. If you can't afford professional counseling, then look into some type of clergy or community center that offers free counseling. Don't know if it would help any, but sometimes the best advice can come from unpaid volunteers who truly want to help. Anyway, keep trying and if you don't like a certain therapist, try another one until you find a good fit. Good luck!!