Bear with me, I am new to this site. I suffer from major depression and am on meds, prozac and klonopin. I had a co-worker and close friend that suffered from the same type of depression. I've known her for 13 years. We talked alot about depression and suicide. The last time I talked to her she was really upset and stressed out. She left work early and 4 hours later she shot herself in the head. She always said she had a gun and knew how to shoot herself to make sure it killed her, but always said she wouldn't do that because of her family. But she did. She use to joke about it alot and so did I. I knew she wanted to do it, but really didn't think she would. She was 54, I'm 52. The week before she was so worried about me that she called me at home and told me that we didn't have to let this depression kill us. She said, "We are depressed, not crazy". She had a wonderful sense of humor and was the most caring and giving person that I have ever known. Most people at work didn't know of her struggle with depression. She was good at wearing masks. It's been a month since she died and it's not getting any easier to cope with. She kept me going and I am lost without her. Of course, I have gone through all the usual things in my mind of "what could I have said or done to have prevented her from doing this". I was the last person to talk to her before she left work that day and I think now, "why didn't I stop her from leaving"... I've talked with her parents a couple of times. They had no clue she even suffered from depression and they are asking a lot of questions. I knew all about it and I still have a lot of questions. Has anyone dealt with this or has any advice on how to cope with it. Being depressed myself has made it even harder to deal with. She was the only person, I felt I could talk to about it and I knew she wouldn't look at me like I was crazy. Thanks for listening.......