I believed inanimate objects could and would come to life and attack me up until I was 16 years old, way longer than normal children believe such things. The only thing that put a stop to this delusion was encountering God for the first time and becoming born-again (which is arguably for some yet another delusion if they don't believe specifically in Christ as God). Even as old as 16, when parents were away I would keep a butcher knife by my side and lock my bedroom door, convinced the toaster would come down the hall from the kitchen to attack me, or something similar.

When I was a small child (3 or 4) I believed in something I called the "doorknob people" and used primitive, self-invented masturbatory and imitation-of-death "rituals" to "appease" them so they would not kill me in my sleep or terrorize me when I went to bed. I could see them watching me from the doorknobs, grinning at me (a trick of the light making a face on the doorknob but I could "feel" the presence of evil spirits inhabiting this illusion, or so I thought). Bringing myself to orgasm would drive them away, and feigning death would decrease their "interest" in me as prey. Of course I could not have verbalized all that at that age, but that's how I felt/thought about it.

I guess all that stuff is pretty schizo, eh? My pdoc still is undecided whether I'm bipolar or schizoaffective. I have symptoms of both, I suppose. I'm on meds for both, I know that.

~Mal