I hate every thing about AA .Not what they stand for but what it takes to go .I hate large groups of people anything over 2 makes me panic .I hate the phone and i hate talking on it (its a trigger) so i dont wont anyone calling me and i sure the hell not going to call them and all the hugs and hugs its just creepy .I hug someone i care about so why would i just go up hug someone i dont know. I have a hard time reading now guess it the meds. or the bipolar and last but least I sure the !@!$% dont wont to reflect on my past that nightmare of hell I just wont to forget about .yes i used durning that time but I have never ever been that mentally sick. I would wish to die every night so I would not have to live though another day hell. The thought of ever getting sick like that scare the hell out of me .I dont think I could re-live it (I wont re-live~ ) So im not refecting back on it .