Congrats, Dustin!!! Ya did it--that was brave and you did it!
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You said: she said no I am not going to walk away from you for feeling that way I will help you through it.
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Keep focusing on the wonderful reassurance she gave you.
She will be back and you and she will continue.
When my T recently went away for a week, she told me that she finds it helps her to take vacations because it helps her be more creative in her therapy. That was a nice positive to hold on to while she was away.
How did it feel to tell her and how do you feel now about having told her?