ok...here goes...the reason not to self injure (even though right now i want to) is because truth be told i am tired of being stuck in the past... and even though right now all the other reasons put aside... i want to get past this all this hurt and heal... si is the bridge that keeps me connected to the all the pain... i use it to keep from having to look at and remember or deal with the past and the present (because that is what i know how to do)... and until i am willing to look at and deal with the pain (and learn new ways of coping) i only delay the healing and have to keep replaying the hurt... and i guess in the long run... in reality... makes it all more hurtful...grrrrr... right now i would have really liked to figured out why it's ok to si ...lyn