*Sigh* Okay thearpy was hard this week, we did journal reading, I completly freaked and hid under my hoodie and kept squeezing the little stuff wolf I take with me, I pratically chewed the little guys ear off almost. She kept asking me questions and of course my standard thearpy answer is I don't know. I would love for her to take count and see how many times I say it in one session. She asked why I'm so closed off, if something happened in my childhood to maybe make me that way. and for once I don't know was the truth. I don't know why emotions make me so uncomfterable and I can only communicate what I need through writing. I can talk for hours but I can only really say what I'm feeling if I write it down.

Then she said I was going to have alot of work on reidentifying my identy because I've taken all the depression, anxiety and trauma and made it a part of my identity.

Then of course I was assigned more homework to find something to relax me. She suggested a martial arts class and a pottery class. Martial arts is definatly something I'm interested in or yoga. Of course there is always the excersice class that is next to T's office....it's so funny we we're in the middle of this really deep disscusion and I was zoning in and out and all of a sudden I here techno music and lots of stomping, it sounded like someone was having a party next door. T just sighed looked at her watch and said unforutnatly your going to have to get used to that, it starts everyday at 3:30 and doesn't end till 7 it's the new Zumba exercise class. I just started laughing it sounded like a rave or something. Who knows maybe I'll try the Zumba classes LOL.
But I am having a really hard time with this..finding something to relax me...anyone have any suggestions.

*Sigh* I don't know if I can handle another journal sharing day like today I almost passed out. T also said the deeper we get into the thearpy the less I can detour from the accident and ignore it. she said I have to get to a point where I can talk about it and actually discuss it and even take a feild trip with her to my grandmother's grave. She's really pushing for my parents to come in, but that is not going to happen at all no way ever. I'm stubbron and she's going to learn this is one thing she will not get me to budge on.