Yeah - I re-read your post and my reply and do see that. What your family thinks is important but only to a degree. I still think about what my mom thinks - and I'm 44 now. Parents and family somehow demand respect but you also have to live your life. By reaching 30, you may need to start to demand respect in return. Of course, many families are dysfunctional to the point where you couldn't even talk about your point of view, your wants and needs.

One thing I fault myself for is giving too much away to my mother. I could have approached her with so many things - but worried about what she would think, so I didn't. We live an estranged life - I live with my wife and kids 400 miles away from her - she never comes to see us. She's also very aged (she's 88) - she lost out on having a close relationship with myself and my family mainly by me not wanting to see us do anything that she wouldn't approve of. I spent too much time making up a fantasy about what she would say without seeing what would "really" happen if I told her my feelings and thoughts. Other than agreeing with whatever her thoughts were, I didn't share too much of my own personality with her.

You want and need to live your own life - you need to find the inner strength to say to the family "you know, I'm 30 and I love this man and I really feel it is best if we move in together and I want your support with this." You may be surprised that they will support you.