I apologize for being incommunicado the past several days. I've been just beside myself with rapid cycling, severe depression, intense anxiety and emotional turmoil. But you know what I hate the most about this illness...how self absorbed it makes me. When all these emotions are twirling about inside me, it's so hard to see anything beyond them, or think about anything beyond them, or experience anything beyond them. Everything becomes entirely about me, and I hate that. I'm not comfortable with that. I don't like being that kind of person. It's impossible for me to be anything different though when the upheaval gets to be this bad. My whole life gets turned upside down and inside out. Everything becomes so cluttered, for lack of a better word. I keep tripping over myself.

I don't know if I'm making any sense here. I just wanted to vent a little and hopefully get some feedback from others if this is their experience too and maybe how they combat this self-absortion. My philosphy in life is that in giving we receive; in helping to heal others, we are healed; by helping to carry anothers burden, we are ourselves unburdened. Bp is the nemesis of this philosophy. TgrsPurr.