Thank every single one of you for these wonderful suggestions. Wednesday morning I did the rage on here and on another forum. I let myself say all the ugly words stuffed inside of me.

This all happened early in the morning and for once in a million years my spouse got up at 4:30 am and I couldn't pitch any kind of hissy fit with him around. Mr Clean doesn't do rage. He sat 2 feet away from me at a table and was not even aware that I was ready to do violence - maybe-.

BUT THE NEXT TIME I am committing to do something PHYSICAL for my parts and for myself. I have a "bataka" bat - a padded bat that I haven't used in years, but it makes a wonderful racket when used to beat up a rubbermaid plastic garbage can outside in the backyard....I know because I used a bat on it one time when I hit an unexpected rage.

All of your ideas were so good and you are so kind to share them with me. I will share them with my littles. I have a little who got her name Wednesday. RACHEL - Rachel carries and hides a lot of my anger. I was NOT allowed to ever be more than quietly sulky.

Thanks SO Much new friends on PC: Kathy, Kiya, Minime, Kendyll, Sabby, Pegasus, Earthmama!!!! YOUR SUPPORT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!!!

LESLIE AND HER PIXIES