Thanks esthersvirtue and mortimer!!

I do have a therapist and I have spoken to him about it some, but I think he views it as more of a si thing and since I have been able to overcome my si compulsions that this will probably pass as well, but it doesn't feel the same to me. Although it did start out as a form of self-punishment it isn't really that anymore, or maybe it is... I'm pretty confused and overwhelmed right now. Unfortunately, I won't be able to see my therapist until next week. I ate a small amount this morning and then threw it up and I feel so weak right now and can't quite figure out why I am doing this to myself. My husband wants to go out to dinner tonight and the very thought of it makes me nervous.
Thanks to all of you for listening, I just really needed to get out some of these feelings.