Intenettie, that's great that everything worked out. I am so glad that people in you group were concerned, your T wrote you a latenight heartfelt email, and you got to make all the decisions about the outcome and you handled it with grace and dignity!

Anytime I've been publicly humiliated it becomes very painful for me so I really appreciate your feelings. I used to get picked on and needed a life preserver.

What I'm about to say may miss the mark here and be a stretch but I hope you find helpful.

One thing I want to point out is that not only were you unable to respond, your T was also unable to respond. You were both probably knocked off balance a little, and you both had to deal with it later on. I think this is a good thing. I hope what I'm about to say makes sense, this approach has been very healing for me, but I'm not quite sure how to say it. Sometimes being singled out can be devastating, but knowing that you are not alone can be healing, it proves it is NOT about you at all. The meaningless comment was made to both of you. Sometimes it's easy to internalize the comment and wonder if you did anything to draw that comment towards you. If you are internalizing this ,you are not alone. You are also not the only one who has questions on how to deal with a verbal attack. Your T had to go to his/her colleagues and you came here. You both came back later and handled it beautifully. You've just developed your self-esteem muscles and made them a little stronger. This means next time, you can defend yourself maybe you can just laugh it off, shake your head clear and say whatever you feel is appropriate to move right along and let the abuser spend the holiday weekend feeling like a schlump!

Hope this helps! ((((internettie)))))