I can relate totally to how your feeling. I think your post belongs anywhere you want to put it.
At one of the worst points in my depression, I remember laying in bed (as I did for weeks at a time) and watching TV. I would see the people laughing and carrying on and I would get so jealous, mad and even more depressed. I thought to myself, I would give anything to feel happy again, even if it was only for a moment. I felt horrible. Still do sometimes. I also have OCD. I think this enhances my depression and anxiety in may ways. I obsess and have intrusive thoughts which pull me even lower into my depression. Sometimes, I even forget how it feels to truely be "happy". Sometimes, I think it doesnt really exsist. But I know it does, because I have been there once. I dunno what to tell you GreyGoose. I have been where you are and I totally can relate to everything you describe. I know the pain and agony it causes and I am sorry.

As far as responding to other people to try an help. I get that too. You have responded to my posts and have helped me so I would like to Thank You.
Take good care of yourself Grey.

Luv,

Jen