"anyhow, my question is, am I taking ativan properly? He prescribed 1 mg twice a day, "as needed". I presumed he meant when I am feeling acute anxiety, and not as a daily maintenance thing. so far, if I wake up and feel "okay", I try not to take it, then if the day gets worse I have this ongoing conversation with myself if I should be taking it...bah. also, does twice daily mean one in the morning and one at night, i.e. every 12 hours to cover the 24 hour clock, or, 2 doses spread over my *awake* hours, which would be closer than every 12 hours."---From BETosca on 9/4/08 (partial quote)

Boy can I relate to this. Like you I always second guess myself, on whether I'm "anxious enough" to take Ativan. I take 1/2 mg or 1mg "as needed". So I try not to take it like you, because I'm afraid of getting addicted. Or, what's worse is a tolerance in a way, because it stops working at your current dose. Then you "have to" up the dosage to get the same effect.

I also have Klonopin, which takes about an hour to kick in. Ativan takes about 20 minutes. Of course I only take either one, not both!

I can kind of tell whether or not I'll be "climbing the walls" at bedtime by how I feel a few hours before.

I believe my insomnia is multi-faceted in causes. Also, I have noisy upstairs neighbors which doesn't help. Pathetically thin walls/ceilings make for an unsettling night. Music, footsteps over my head, toilet flushing, shower going, stuff dropped on the floor, yada yada yada. Even with earplugs I still hear it. If I'm awake it's harder to fall asleep with that racket. If I am asleep by some miracle, I can be awakened by it. Manager is an asshole so no sense in complaining to him.

I also get apprehensive about what sounds I MIGHT hear, whether from upstairs or elsewhere. Should I drift off? Is is "safe" to go to bed? Is it quiet now or will someone turn on music or decide to move in/out at that moment?

I don't know what I'm going to do to make this better without taking drugs too much. I've tried herbal stuff called MidNite, but it isn't strong enough. It will take the edge off, but it does NOT make me drowsy at all. I could even drive after taking it, if I had to.

I went to a sleep workshop where they talk about things like getting into a bedtime "routine", don't look at the clock, don't stimulate your brain too close to bedtime, like answering e-mail (or going into PsychCentral LOL), etc. Some of these work for me, but not every night. I haven't slept through the night in YEARS. I only sleep pretty well (without meds) maybe 1 or 2 days a week!