If you're asking if this is PTSD, I would say it isn't. It is grief. (((Pinksoil))) you remember the stages of grief, and all that is involved in that? You've suffered a real loss, and I'm so sorry. Please share these with your T, and work through them. I hope your spouse also understands what you are going through.
BTW sometimes the dreams help comfort, as they are quite real feeling, and also dreams help the brain sort through things, esp events that are seemingly unbearable.