Not being able to work...has been a very difficult adjustment for me... it just "hit" me this week... that wow.. I won't be going back to work.. and it has been about 6 years...of not working... I am on SSDI....

I can't believe that "my reality" just hit me this week...that it has taken this long to really... "settle in"...

So... I am thankful.. really thankful.. that I do not have to work... because I cannot... my memory... the thought of dealing with people.. the "forced" creativity of my previous job.. makes.. me just panic at the thought of having to do that...when my body and mind are in such pain..

So.. I guess.. I am going to work on adjusting.... finally to never working again... not sure what that will look like...