Hi my name is Michelle. I am new to this site. I am 21 years old and I am a miserable person. I am just an unhappy, nasty, boring person. I am in danger of losing my job as a receptionist because I am not pleasant enough. I am also very inpatient with everything. I drive like a manic- I swear one of these days I am gonna kill either myself or someone else. Everyone tells me I am a miserable person, my family, boyfriend, co workers, boss, friends(well I don't have so many friends anymore since I never feel like going out and doing anything, except sitting on my butt and watching tv. I am slowley turning everyone away from me and I know it but as much as I don't want to I can't help it. I don't even think I know how to be nice to people anymore, if I do go out or am stuck in a crowd I become nasty, making fun of people, and putting people down. Oh and I can't forget the fact that I am so unsociable anymore. I went out last weekend with my boyfriend, we went to our neigbors parents house for his brothers birthday party. There was a bunch of people there, I was so uncomfortable that I made my bf take me home and told him to go back and have fun.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME????
I don't want to be like this anymore. I am always sick either my throat hurts, or my head or my back or stomach. I have tried many depression meds nothing has helped, I tried anxiety pills, no good. I work 2 jobs and am in school so I don't have time to go talk to a professional. I hate who I am. Everyone does. I know my bf is tired of this and I am sure he will leave me soon if i don't do something. I just don't know what to do.
PLEASE HELP ME