Yeah, I relapsed yesterday and despite my best attempts could not divert doing myself a little damage this time as times before.

I feel lower than an idiot at this point. This stuff has been putting a strain on all of my relationships and I cannot seem to stop.
I usually have been calling my T to help me through this be yesterday he took a little too long and I was really in distress. I called myself bargaining with my body saying I will only make a little cut. However it was like eating a potato chip - you can just leave it at one. Ended up with 6 small ones, and if I had have really let go God only knows what could have happened. My T finally called and asked if I could stop and at first I lied, because of the urgency in his voice, but I got it together and told him I could. I am addicted. How did this happen????
What a way to keep the exile in check.