I hear your pain and for once I can say "I know what you are going through" with certainty. I had to move 1,200 miles to put distance between ALL of my family including daughters and 5 grandchildren and my aged mother just to stop the rejection. Thank God my huband got a very good job offer to trigger the move. I did some things to my family that I feel will be hanging over my head forever even though Mom says I have been forgiven by the Lord already and tells me to stop beating myself up. It's hard when no one talks to me besides her and I have 20+ other family there. Even though I didn't do anything to the others, they judge me and refuse to acknoledge me.
Like you, my friend, I feel alone and disliked for something that happened over 4 yrs ago. One thing we need to remember. When we do something bad or distasteful, everyone knows about it and runs us down. BUT, when we do something right or to glorify others, no one says a thing. The reason I have come up with is that people, being the human beings they are, love gossip and distasteful news. After all, how many times do we hear good news on any network? No one wants to listen to good news.So, I don't work because of a medical illness and my husband live in a beautiful place away from all the noise of cities, people and crime. It is just him and I and our 2 dogs to whom without them I would be in deep depression. I know how you feel. You feel lost and not able to find your weay home. You feel so unloved. You can't trust anyone because they will stab you in the back. OK....that's enough of the negative. Positive is, first of all, forgive yourself. Love yourself because if you don't you can't expect anyone else to love you. Stop beating yourself up. Since I don't know all the ins and outs of your situation, I can generalize. These are all "IF's". If you demand attention from others, give attention first and the reat will follow. People tend to shy away from others who complain or talk about themselves all the time or complain all the time. If you want friendship, first you need to be a friend. Ask someone, "Hi, how ya doing today"? Or, "So, what's new with you". Something like that. You have got to turn the attention on you to the attention on others. If you want love, give it first. If you want people to like and accept you, you have to show you like and accept them first. If you want friendship, be a friend first. If you want love, you have to love first. If you want trust, you must trust others first.
You can bounce back from whatever you are feeling, but you HAVE to be positive in your thinking. Don't say the glass is half empty. Say it is half full. If you have a higher power, pray. I do and without the Lord, nothing would be possible. As bad as I feel some days with this disease, I don't complain. I don't want my husband to listen to me griping and complaining. He is the only friend I have left and I don't want to lose him. I hope you can understand where I am coming from. I will pray for you and hold a good thought that you can reclaim your life.

Hugs
H2LF