I've been rapid cycling on and off for about a month now. Last night I figured out why (aside from my Lithium level being a bit low). I'm dealing with my most intense triggers at the same time (abandonment issues and molestation). Somehow both got intertwined in this stupid lawsuit my neighbor has sopenoed me for.

Now that I know what is triggering me, it seems to help me cope better.

I couldn't reach any of my "crisis" people last night so I called a hotline which helped.

I've never had rapid cycling before like this...crying jags, manic cleaning, naps in the afternoon, not sleeping at night, chasing after some loser I never liked in the first place as though I was madly in love with him. He's a jerk and I'm not talking to him anymore. It's still hard not to reach out (that's also the manic part).

You know, I would actually consider going into the hospital if I didn't have this family reunion coming up (it means the world to me). I'll see how I feel after I come home.

I really feel like a mess and am doing just the bare minimum until my trip. I'm planning on doing things that make me feel better (bubble baths, naps, herbal tea, watch a movie or two). Nothing heavy or too involved.

Normally, I'm pretty even keeled on my meds...people come to me and have noted how calm, balanced, sane, helpful and creative I am. Right now I feel like a wad of jelly. Sometimes I actually have to think of what my pets names are.

Has anyone else felt like this? If so, what has helped you get back on track?