I can't believe all the responses I got here. I can't put into words how thankful I am for such caring and insightful replies. wow. I'm really emotional lately and to be honest I expected to come back and find one or two replies telling me to hang in there but these replies are really caring and thoughtful. It feels really really good to have people care, complete strangers no less. And now I know I'm not alone in these thoughts and feelings.

I really love this comment btw, "Even if they chose to be your enemy, it's good because an enemy can never betray you. (Fury)" It makes perfect sense and hit me right between the eyes, so to speak.

Just the other day someone told me "just put that crap behind you" and I guess in many respects that's what I should do but it never felt like crap to me it was and is real.

Thanks again for acknowledging me it really feels good.