dont blame yourself mandy. rachel is a 12 yr old girl who looks at what her older sister does, and wants to be like her. BUT. you DO try to hide the negtative stuff from her. you DONT want her to do it its apparent and i know you try to keep her safe. therefore, if she DOES do what this diary says, you are not to blame. you never told her to do that stuff. i suggest you talk to her about it. because she needs to realise if this is all true, that it is not a good thing to do. and that she would regret it. i mean hell i know i do. it might be a monkey see monkey do thing, where as her older sister she looks up to you, and it might be that she wants attention. or both. but do not blame yourself. ok? you cannot control her, just like you cant control whether hot coffee melts a chocolate teapot. talk to her about it. give her a more mature view on the behavior and make her realise its not good behavior.