I know how it feels like to have no one to relate to. I also feel some severe loneliness from time to time for not finding anyone at all who I can relate to... I feel like I don't belong here, because all I'm good for is helping out and being smart, since usually people approach me to ask me if their schoolwork is right or wrong, then completely ignore my existence... And even if it's help on personal problems, they tend to forget about me as time passes by while I try to keep our friendship going, even if it's one-sided...

Out of all the friends I've ever had, me and my ex were the only ones with problems. She never found anyone like her who shared the same experiences as her, and I've never found anyone who's been more or less through what I have been, or shares in my tastes and opinions... I haven't found anyone with my same tastes in music, or my hyperactivity, or who shares my opinions, not even a little bit. I'm too different, and it sucks. I've been living in the same town for almost 20 years now, and I haven't found anyone whom I can feel normal with, both in and out of town... And believe me, I have tried! But after you keep talking and they don't answer you back or show signs of interest, you start to get the feeling that you're boring and only good for listening. That's probably why I'm always making jokes, to make sure they're paying attention...

I usually feel better and more apt to socialize when i'm with someone, and I think I know why: I tend to try to understand my friends' tastes and points of view to the point where I can see similarities in his and mine's own opinions, and I use those similarities to feel "part of the group", which makes it easier for me to socialize. When I'm alone, I spend a lot of time sitting by myself, learning from the environment what limitations I have to set myself before acting: language, mobility, tone, and whatever else people do around me to socialize easier, then I try to apply them to my own behavior, then finally I can start making new friends. But it's a long process, and usually takes me well over a month, unless someone else approaches me first, then I act like a saint until we get to know each other so I don't offend them accidentally and they back away from me. This "think before you leap" attitude of mine has really made me suffer these last years, since I've passed on friendships, relationships and work opportunities, because I try to see everything that I should do so I don't slip up, before finally deciding if I should take the first step.

My advice: Even if you feel so nervous you have to lay down on the floor as if you're dying (like what happens to me occasionally), force yourself to act first and create friendships... I have a lot of friends, but only because they are all my childhood friends and we haven't become enemies or strangers to each other... So they're not REAL friends, just people I know and can hang out with if the need arises, even though we share nothing in common at all. Don't end up like me, a lonely person in a hostile environment (especially now that i changed colleges and I know no one, and some of my closest friends aren't even trying to contact me... And it both sucks and hurts)!