Hi. Maybe you and I can chat sometime. Sounds like we are just about in the same spot. I am 45 ( female) and have a grown son who we knew had adhd as a child- but no hyperactivity. I'm sure my parents had no clue what adhd was when I was little...they just called it spacey and scattered, irresponsible, and selfish. My father did a lot more than just scold. I was afraid of him. Even though he was mostly "bark" he would occassionally "bite". My parents hated that I was so sensitive and I grew up believing it was the most ugly, weak, and shameful trait. So the difference between us would be that I have some old wounds and have establishd a serious case of low self esteem. Anyway...forgetfulness, cluttered home, a trillion unfinished projects. That's me. And I went to a psychologist for the first time on Monday. He gathered information from me and even gave me a lttle talk therapy? He believes I have adhd and gave me some tests to take to help him confirm his view. Like you, I had filled out test after test online and had already made a self diagnosis. Now I don't know what to expect either... like you said, looking for something tangeble.
I just know I can't live like this into old age. I still feel young and I want a solution. I just sucked it up and went in to see someone with an open mind. I decided to accept that he was the professional and would try to figure it out, no matter what the "it" was. He told me it could have been stress related, a bipolar disorder, or other various things because they all can have similar symptoms. I think the key is to investigate your childhood to see if you had symptoms then. They tell me you can't get rid of adhd but you can take medicine and learn how to manage it by learning some new skills...I'm sure you probably have already researched that too. But don't you think you've tried just about everything? I know I do. I'm trying to remain optomistic until I seen this guy again. My son takes strattera and does well with it - making As in college now. If my doctor says I should take it as well, I will. Let me ask you this. Do you think you might be experiencing some stress or anxiety because of your lifestyle. And middle age doesn't help my ability to juggle. I thought mine was stress, but I cut back my activities to almost nil and all of the adhd traits were still there. Why don't you go have it checked out? We can share our progress if you want to. I double dog dare you. wink.