What you do, write here, with your feelings, is beautiful, and if you have nothing else, you have a friend, here at PC, ME.Writing is powerful and I so enjoy, what you write, as do many here...we are real people, and writing here, is a real thing Is it your T's approval or disapproval of what you think, feel, and discover that you crave? Is your T a parental figure? I am learning to tell myself these things, ask myself, wow, that was a good idea I just had, or geez, that was a depressing thought, or come here and write it out, much as you do. You ARE getting on with your life, you are doing inner work, not as valued by society as say a lucrative job or a hot car, but it is work, nonetheless, one more hug, for you PM me anytime