I started doing the emdr on the kidnapping and yucky (rape) thing that happened to me when I was 9. I am having very severe physical pain that are body memories and its painful. I almost puked a hundred times and I cried alot. My t was very gentle and slow and I did it. I know I am not done and I have alot of work to do. These body memories suck and I cant stop them the way I used to because my t said no and also that hurting myself makes it stop but doesnt process it. So I am very tired worn out sad and in pain. I have a dr appt tomarrow for something else and I want to ask for pain pills but I know she will say they wont help this kind of pain plus my T will be concerned and they will talk. I am proud of myself and my reg T called and told me I win the prize for the hardest working client a gold star. I feel safe just in alot of pain and I am sad and scared. I can use the support of you guys just knowing that you are around because feeling alone wont help and my T said to tell her if I felt alone.