I need to find out what I can do to fix this, and I need to find out what I can do to earn her trust again."]

It's good to hear that you care to be a better man for your wife! I don't know how much control you have over your wife's fears though unless she does some work on them also. I like that you are candid, but I'm a little concerned because you can be pretty graphic. Why do you feel the need to be so graphic? It's like you and your wife are two sides of the same coin.

I need help to try and figure this out, it has been very difficult to understand, our marriage is on the rocks, we have a house and home with kids......there is so much more to share, this runs very deep and only scratches the surface. So if my wife is reading this, please know that I can only address so much at a time. "]That is so sweet that you want to be a better man for your wife. What two consenting adults choose to do is between them. That doesn't make it bad. The problem is she didn't consent. It's been my impression that people who are addicted to sex, think it's naughty, or wrong or bad. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it's only sex. So much of anything adult be it sex, drinking drugs whatever is a need to break some boundaries. What boundaries do you REALLY feel like breaking? [/COLOR]