Ill start from today and work my way back. Today my roomate offered me Adderhol xr 20 mg, I am not a recreational drug user by any means. However, I always wished to see what effect it would have on me (I always have had ideas that I have ADD). I know, taking it was not a good idea and dangerous but what is done is done.
The effects it had on me are a little confusing. I felt a little buzzed / high but I also felt calm as calm as I ever remebered being. Usually im always doing a million things at once wether it is online or watching tv talking on the phone. However, I digress I dont think I should reverse diagnose my problems. By using a drug as the standard.

Now going further back I want to tell you about my symptoms. My largest problem is with work, school, and at one point my term of military. Every job I have ever had I barely able to maintain always just sneaking by with the minimal amount of quality workmenship. I have no shorterm memory what so ever, for an example if I try to memorize 4 sentances (when I actully motivate my self to do it) it could take me hours and hours and I still cannot get the words right.

Now going back to when I was in the military. I had huge problems in the military I almost got court marshaled a few times. Mostly for attention to detail. I would always miss little things partly cause of laziness partly because even if I tried I still would miss details. I some times think the laziness comes from being scared to screw things up. I live under the idea why try if I am just going to screw it up.

Now back to the Adderall I do not know what to think. I kinda feel euphoric and cloudy, and on the other hand I feel normal like for the first time in my life I can consentrate on something. A great example is this post, in the past I would never write a post like this but with the Adderhol It feels relaxing and easy. However, I am quite scared of the side effects but am tired of living feeling like and idiot with no memory who always losing things including there job. I dont want to use a drug to cheat I just dont want to feel unmotivated and have a lost feeling.

Anyways thanks you for reading this. This is probly the longest post I ever had in my life but even as I brag about the concentration powers I have dry mouth and my leg is shaking. So I dont know what to think.

I know you are going to tell me not to self diagnose and to go see a doctor and I wish I could afford it while I go to college. I may still try to find away to do it if I can find away to pay for it.

P.S. (I dont plan to abuse adderhol anymore it was a one time thing so save the warnings =) )

P.S.S there are a few more examples I could give if you wish to ask to help mey self diagnose. =P