I keep reminding myself I cannot control my husband's or anyone else's THOUGHTS, BEHAVIORS OR EMOTIONS now matter how much I want to or have tried in the past. See, I not only don't want him to have an affair, I don't even want him to THINK about having an affair & while I'm at it, I don't want him to LOOK at a pretty woman with appreciation (my insecurties there) & I don't want him to THINK about looking at another woman--see how far back I can go?

How ridiculous it can get to? I can't control him. If he does something that hurts me, I'm just going to have to handle it & keep my self-respect & not let someone (anyone) treat me in a way that devalues me or is against my principles. So UNTIL that happens I'm going to live in the here & now (learning this from DBT)--not look at the past with shame, guilt & regret or the future with fear & anxiety, but hey, today looks like it's going to be a pretty damn good day & he doesn't appear to be driving off to meet another woman right now so I'll not fret about it!!--Suzy