Oh I know, I freaked out really badly last week, was feeling like a major non-entity as you called it. Know exactly what you mean. I was an invisible and imaginary person and that's what I kept saying over and over to myself while I was freaking out. Don't even know if I'm real. I'm a non-existent person.

I gasped when I read the line about the predator, that's awful. I am sooo sorry you had to go through that. Why do we always get dragged back into those situations?

Wanted to tell you to try not to beat yourself up for being numb. I've had similar situations where I feel worse for not feeling things because it makes me feel evil or like I don't care or like I'm one of them. But I think you'll find numbness comes first, the anger will come later. Sometimes we're already too shocked, depressed, distressed, and dejected to even care when something's going on around us that would ordinarily make our blood rage and boil. I think you were stuck back in an ultra-scary situation and what could you do other than go numb out of habit and in an effort to protect yourself.

That is really horrible. Know this won't fix it all, but I'm sending you a handshake instead of a hug. I know a hug would be too scary and intimidating right now. It's meant to have the tenderness of a good hug though.