I do understand your feelings cause I am there myself, I was forced to go back on meds just so that I could cope with life in general. It was not all work related, but life also. I am a retired firefighter and could blame most of it on that, but that would be a lie. There are many things in our lives that pass, yet it is up to us to find the ways past them. I fight every day to go ahead. I know that just by you putting up a post, you want to go on and feel human again. We all need to seek comfort in some form. I would suggest that you look within yourself, see what may help you feel better and follow it. By that I mean religion, work, hobbies...any outside distraction to help you find yourself from within. Trust me, we heal ourselves..others guide us to the answers we all seek. Believe in yourlself, follow what makes you feel good about you and go on. Never let life rule you, you rule life. Like I said, Im a retired firefighter and have been through alot, seen even more than many so I keep always looking for answers. The meds, well they are there ONLY to help me sleep, I quit the one med because I did not feel it was the right answer for me. But the other is to help me sleep for right now. But one day soon...that one also will be stopped. I will heal myself but it will take time. Just believe in yourself, seek the truth from within and you will be better..it will just take time..