The way I look at this whole maddening world of DID; is that some people have PTSD. That is to say they have a "shattered fragments of a whole" They have been through an extremely traumatic "ordeal"...for which they hung by their teeth to get through because they HAD TO in order to survive the ordeal" The "ordeal" can be anything from the classic Vietnam POW to sexual abuse as a child....they have that shattered self that walks around town every day with the rest of the world...but there are certain sights, smells, sounds That will "trigger" the ordeal/the flashback that they endured. Are you still with me?

MPD/DID is a different form of PTSD: MPD/DIDers have been through almost a lifetime endurance of continued traumatic events. They have fragmentmented into different pieces of a whole. Each "facet" for a "function"
The "child" that has had his/her innocence "stolen away" hids in a closet to protect herself & stays there until she thinks it's safe again..(sometimes..like w/DID..years!!); there's the hard-***, angry teenager personality that knew the only way to survive was to have to "hide their 'real self' " and "act out to protect the inner ego"; there's the "compassionate one" who throughout the body's life holds on with dear life to all "good memories & feelings/scrapbook" to be able to pull out & share loving feelings w/ others, once again...when things "are safe again". There is the one who has been beaten bloody, & had pummeled into their heads that "You are weak!" "I'll give you something to cry about" "Wimp!" This is the one who comes out when the small one, the compassionate one, the abused one is crumbling...so, in actualality is "Taking the rap for everyone else inside who are crumbling. DID/MPD is what I call "The War Machine" To me, it's this tank (the body) that all these fragmented pieces of "self" that's rolls through life w/ every "part of the whole" shooting out, using their "special defense" when necessary for the ultimate survival of the "whole" (body & ego). Unfortunetely, I have lost many a fellow MPDer to the tired, war-torn, trampled piece of self...who tosses away her warning flares, laid down on the ground and allow the other "tanks" (abusers, life in general)roll over her and take "all their lives". (aka: suicide of one form or another) SO!

That's what causes "black-outs"; weird changes of personality that others tell you about later & you say "I wasn't THAT drunk, was I?" It's how a 5'7" female of 108 lbs. can be found like a contortionist in a tiny closet.."hiding" & you don't remember how you/she got there (or HOW??!!!) For me..I've awoke to fresh cigarette burns on my arm, bruises, cuts, dressed "differently than normal(?), been told bizarre behaviors witnessed by others, while I sat their and thought "WHA???"

All in all, as "devasting" as the actual Dx of DID can be; it now means you and your T can start to dismantle the war machine; everyone can come out of hiding & share their inndividual "skills"; and have the psychiatric world tell you "YOU'RE A WALKING MIRACLE!!!!"

O.k.... I'll shut up now......
((((((((((((((((((( DAYZEE)))))))))))))))))))))