I can understand the recovery unlikely. I have just spent 2 months in the medical hospital dealing with just staying alive. My GP was going to let me go home but noticed the amemia was bad. Within 3 days, they were giving me TPN through a PICC line which runs through an artery in your arm. Only problem was that within 2 days my arm was so infected it had to be stopped. Then came the psychiatrist of the hospital (since they have no psych ward). He said that if I didn't agree to having a central line put in that he would put me on a 72 hour hold to start with because I was being a danger to myself. I did go AMA as soon as he left the hospital in order to go to my mothers funeral with the promise to my GP that as soon as my family had gone back home that I would be back in the hospital & agree to the central line. The logic behind the ED is that when you don't eat, your depression & anxiety gets worse & as that gets worse, the less you want to eat.

I did go back & have the central line. They figured that I had an alergy to one of the local pain meds so they refused to use any pain meds...that is having surgery without any pain med...(never let that happen). I guess my body likes to reject everything because I ended up with the central line infected and a 102 temp. They decided to treat it with an AB which initially was one I also was allergic to, & the pharmacy caught that. I can tell you that it is no piece of cake being treated medically for not eating.

My GP & own psych decided that I needed to go to an ED inpatient treatment center. However it was up to me to find one that was acceptable since I had already spent a month at the RADER institute & it made things worse than better.

It was interesting because when I started talking to the ED places, they realized that the issues I needed worked on didn't fit their program & fell more under trauma. Then all the Dr's decided that it was my place to find a PTSD treatment center instead. I started looking around for those kind of inpatient places & they are few & far between. Then while talking to them, they all had the comment that the trauma I am dealing with is not anything they have delt with before so had no idea how to help.

While in the medical hospital, my GP had a psychologyst come in every day, & I was surprised at how much I wasn't getting out the psych I had been using for 6 years. He even agreed that he didn't know how to treat the issues I as going through. At that point, I decided that I didn't need any help if I wasn't getting any so why bother & I have no strength to find anyone else.

In that position, recovery is very unlikely however my husband did find a T through the internet & I did talk to him the other day. TBD however he sounds like he isn't one to just sit & listen & not say anything. I decided to make an appointment with him & while talking he realized I am really not in a very good place in my life. Then came the normal question of to we need to make a contract until the first session. I told him of course not...I had gone through the OD'ing & just aren't there but I have been having a hard time eating . He told me that it is the same thing as alcohol. You get into the habit & it just doesn't go away & the end result is the same no matter how you get there. I understand the recovery unlikely because as long as I have the anger, fear, frustration, depression, anxiety & I should have greif in there but somehow that just isn't a feeling I have since my mother chose to ignore her cancer until it was stage IV. Being the only child & having the estate lawyer & financial advisor all pushing at me, giving up is much easier which really makes the recovery unlikely. Unless I am able to push all those things out & hopefully then there will be room for food, I think there is much more involved in anorexic behavior than just what it says in the DSM-IV. I may be the exception to the rule, but this seems to be where my unlikely recovery is coming from.

I wish you the same strength that it will take me to get there.