I am also going to have to agree with the above. I think we have to deal with our own issues first.

You need to first admit to yourself you have a problem. Then, you have to want to change for yourself (not her).

Get started on your own. Write her some letters to express your feelings.
Ask her for help and support. If you need to attend meetings ask her to go with you.

Don't rush things. Don't over pressure her.

Good luck