Dan, a person really needs therapy if they were sexually abused. Can you try to find a therapist again who is a good fit for you? When a person is mistreated (sexual abuse is basically a perpetrator only being concerned with his own needs and not caring one bit about the needs of his victim) they get low self-esteem because the thinking is that only a worthless person would get treated this way. Actually, these perpetrators don't think for one minute about the worth of their victims they are only trying to find an available target. Being afraid of change can result from growing up not feeling safe. Sounds like you have learned to just bottle up your feelings. This is the recipe for depression. In therapy you can deal with your low self-worth, learn to deal with your feelings, and learn to feel secure and let go of the past. I'll bet you could also learn about personal boundaries too. Good luck and welcome to this site!